


Have Mercy On My Soul

by Artemisiana



Series: Haikyuu! Song Fic Collection [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Coming of Age, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Teasing, Tsukki needs to calm down, Yamaguchi is an anxious wreck half the time, Yamaguchi is pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 14:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19275604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemisiana/pseuds/Artemisiana
Summary: Have you ever imagined the situation when you'd have to tell your best friend that you love them?Inspired by Shawn Mendes' song "Mercy"





	Have Mercy On My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Ariana- For always telling me that I should continue to follow my dreams and passions. For encouraging me always in my writing endeavors as I try and improve myself more and more each day and each time I write.
> 
> For Tori- The inspiration behind this and possibly more songfics in the future. This one goes out to you.

Knowing Tsukki his entire life, Yamaguchi was bound to have an extra deep bond with the blonde. Whether being the only person other than his family knowing he still had dozens of books on dinosaurs scattered across his bookshelf at home. Or whether he loves to eat sweets whenever the opportunity arises, especially if it includes eating some strawberry shortcake, his favorite type of cake ever.

 

Yamaguchi had come to terms with his feelings. He was always surprised when at random times in the day, he'd be reminded of the depth of his affection for his childhood best friend. Times like when Tsukki would be cleaning the lenses of his glasses, eyelids drooped as he concentrated on cleaning them. Yamaguchi notices how Tsukki scoffs slightly whenever he misses something in practice, and a small fragment of determination crosses his eyes. 

 

Yamaguchi is at Tsukki's beck and call. He is completely and utterly captivated with all that is Tsukishima Kei.

 

_ You've got a hold on me, don't even know your power, I stand a hundred feet, but I fall when I'm around ya _

 

Yamaguchi has been trying to push the boundaries of his relationship with Tsukki ever since they had decided to go to Karasuno together. He knew it meant a lot for Tsukki to go to the same high school as his older brother Akiteru, so choosing to go with him was easy. Although Tsukki had initially told him to go to a different school, it was a lot harder for him to be apart from him than anything else in the world. Some days. Yamaguchi felt as if Tsukki didn't appreciate him being around him. He'd then be shown differently in the unique ways that Tsukki shows his affection.

 

Odd ways when Tsukki would wait for him by the shoe lockers after school when they didn't have practice. His headphones covering his ears as his head bobbed slightly to the beat of the song. As soon as Tsukki would notice Yamaguchi in the corner of his eye, his hands immediately seized the headphones and retracted them from his ears, letting them hang around his neck. The smallest smile would sometimes break Tsukki's placid face, making small butterflies soar in Yamaguchi's stomach.

 

There were also times when Tsukki's temper would be taken out on Yamaguchi. He'd snap at Yamaguchi if he took too long in doing their homework, possibly making a snide remark to boot. He'd vent his frustrations to him, somehow adding a small comment that might even relate to him.

 

Even with those moments, Tsukki always found some sort of way to apologize.

 

_ Show me an open door. and you go and slam it on me _

 

It's odd that Yamaguchi has managed to stay with Tsukki for this long, most of the other so-called friends the two had made over the years never stuck around much longer than a year and a half. Yamaguchi had never been annoyed by Tsukki's quirks all that much over the years. If anything he welcomed them with open arms.

 

He's always been very bad at making friends, and being friends with the tallest kid in their grade made others see him in a different light. Having been saved by Tsukki that one day in the park, was the best day of his life. He had managed to gain a best friend, as well as love for a sport he never realized would be such a huge component in his life. It was invigorating yet astonishing how much change Tsukki has brought into Yamaguchi's life. 

 

The only downfall for their relationship was Yamaguchi's romantic feelings for Tsukki.

 

_ I can't take anymore _

 

"Yamaguchi."

 

"Yes, Tsukki," he replied quickly.

 

"What would you say if I told you I was in love with you?" Tsukki was walking ahead of Yamaguchi, who had stopped. His long legs were striding farther and farther as his words settled into Yamaguchi's soul.

 

Tsukki finally stopped, his back blazed in light by one of the streetlamps. They were on their way back from practice, walking after parting from the main group of the Karasuno volleyball club. They were almost to Yamaguchi's house, which was closer to the school than Tsukki's. Tsukki kept his eyes level as he stared at Yamaguchi. His glasses were slightly reflecting the light under the streetlamp as he awaited Yamaguchi's answer.

 

He did not give off any sort of vibe to him, not one of nervousness nor of disgust. He was giving his usual poker face, the one Yamaguchi could never read even if he tried. Yamaguchi's heart was pounding in his ears as the thought that Tsukki might reciprocate his feelings. That maybe their friendship could traverse that invisible line from friends to lovers. Yamaguchi was contemplating a reply, his mouth quivering and opening and closing slightly. As he finally came to a decision, Yamaguchi opened his mouth only to stop abruptly.

 

_ I'm saying, Baby, please have mercy on me, take it easy on my heart _

 

"Just kidding." Tsukki sang it in his mocking tone. Yamaguchi was thrust back into reality. "Why would I ever say that? We're both guys." 

 

Yamaguchi's throat felt dry, he wanted to scream at Tsukki. Even if they were both guys, he was madly in love with him. Yamaguchi wanted to conjure the strength he once had to run up to Tsukki, grasp his shirt in his fist and simply plant a solid kiss on his lips. The lips he's been wanting to feel on his for years now. It was knocking a large bowling ball right at his heart.

 

"Y-Yeah. You're right Tsukki" an arrow of hurt embedded itself deeper into Yamaguchi as he jogged to match Tsukki's strides. 

 

_ Even though you don't mean to hurt me, You keep tearing me apart _

 

As Yamaguchi finally caught up to Tsukki's pace and they continued down the street. The only thoughts running through his mind were swirling around the thought of Tsukki being utterly disgusted at the romantic feelings directed towards him. The thought scared Yamaguchi to his very core. 

 

_ Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart? _

_ Would you please have mercy, on my heart? _

 

The vibration of his phone in his pocket broke the concentration he had over his calculus homework. Headphones sliding down from his head to his neck as he fished his phone from his pocket. A small yelp came from his mouth as his desk chair moved backward in a jerk motion, giving him small stutters in his heartbeat. He silently cursed his chair as he opened the text notification he received.

 

Tsukki ☾ : Come over, we're going to watch the new Jurassic Park movie. Bring popcorn. Be here in 10.

 

Yamaguchi smiled softly, even if it was a Sunday night before a test, Tsukki would always want to watch one of his new dinosaur movies as soon as he got it. The place in his heart reserved for Tsukki floated into the clouds, elated by the invitation. Even if it wasn't uncommon for Yamaguchi to run downstairs quickly and ask if he could go to Tsukki's, he was always nervously excited whenever they said 'yes'. Running around his house for his movie necessities, Yamaguchi made sure to grab his dinosaur onesie. The dinosaur onesie was old, the fabric stained in some places from movie nights of the past, but it was a matching pair to Tsukki's. A stupidly happy grin spread across Yamaguchi's lips, the thoughts of all of the times they wore the matching pair as they watched movies flooding him with happy memories.

 

"Just. Kidding" the soft echo of Tsukki's voice rang through his mind once again. Stiffening the elation Yamaguchi had felt.

 

_ I'd drive through the night, just to be near you, baby _

 

Either way, he grasped the onesie from his closet, running to his pantry and grabbing two microwaveable bags of popcorn before hastily saying goodbye and running out his front door. It was only five in the evening, the sun creating a scarlet and violet haze across the sky. Running to Tsukki's house from his wasn't all that far, they only lived a couple of blocks away from each other. As quickly as Yamaguchi ran out of the house, he quickly arrived at Tsukki's house, knocking in their signature pattern of knocks.

 

Two knuckle taps, two finger taps, one knuckle tap again.

 

Tsukki quickly opened the door, already in his dinosaur onesie, his glasses pushed down slightly down the bridge of his nose. His hand instinctively came up to push them back when he moved aside for Yamaguchi.

 

"You're late."

 

"Sorry, Tsukki. I was doing homework." Yamaguchi stepped inside, took off his shoes and began to wrap himself in his own matching onesie.

 

"You should have done it yesterday." Tsukki retorted, walking past Yamaguchi to waltz up to the stairs to his bedroom.

 

_ Heart open, testify, Tell me that I'm not crazy _

 

Yamaguchi trotted after Tsukki, saying a brief hello to Akiteru watching TV in the living room. He briefly told Tsukki he'd prepare the popcorn, which Tsukki gave a curt nod. Yamaguchi was comfortably familiar with the Tsukishima's family home, walking through one of the doors in the hallway beside their living room. He was hit with the scent of vanilla, and the sight of Tsukki's mother humming a soft tune. The sound of her hums resonated off of the cream walls of the kitchen.

 

"Evening Tsukishima-san" Yamaguchi stuttered softly, he'd always been slightly nervous around Tsukki's mother.

 

"Hi Tadashi, need something?" she replied, she was placing cookie dough on a sheet pan.

 

"Just your microwave for popcorn. Excuse me." Yamaguchi replied.

 

He walked in towards their cabinets, grabbing the two large bowls they usually use for popcorn. One of them had small dinosaurs running along the rim, it was Tsukki's favorite.

 

"You both are watching that new dinosaur movie, right? Don't stay up too late alright?" Tsukki's mother chided, shooting Yamaguchi a glance.

 

"A-Alright." 

 

"You two get along so well, now neither of you better become a bad influence on one another."

 

"I don't know about that Tsukishima-san" Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 

 

Yamaguchi had already managed to make one bag of popcorn in the midst of their conversation. Tsukki's mother had also placed a tray of cookies in the oven, slowly bagging up the rest to put in the freezer. Yamaguchi was aware that Tsukki got part of his personality thanks to his mother, so when she suddenly turned to face him upfront, a shiver ran down his spine.

 

"Don't stay up too late now alright?" she smiled at him softly. One of her hands patting his shoulder

 

"I'll bring you boys cookies when they're ready alright?" 

 

Yamaguchi nodded as she walked away, the microwave beep caused him to jump. He hastily opened the bag to pour it into his own bowl before rushing upstairs to finally begin watching the movie with Tsukki. As Yamaguchi ran up the stairs, he nestled one of the bowls in his elbow, freeing his right hand to repeat their signature knock system against Tsukki's closed door. 

 

"Hurry up Yamaguchi, else I'll start without you." 

 

"Sorry, Tsukki."

 

Yamaguchi carefully opened the door, walking quickly towards Tsukki's bed facing his TV. He was already wrapped in his bed sheets, his upper body leaning against the bed frame. Yamaguchi contained a soft smile at the fact Tsukki had grabbed his old dinosaur plush as well which was nestled in the crook of his elbow. He eyed Yamaguchi as he entered his dark room, the only light coming from the illuminated TV screen. His glasses reflected against his lenses, basking his face in light blue tones. His face was almost completely lit in the darkness, seeming to shine ever more in the darkness.

 

Yamaguchi controlled his breathing as he crawled into Tsukki's bed alongside him, passing him his dinosaur bowl of popcorn. As Yamaguchi readjusted himself in Tsukki's bed, their shoulders brushed against each other, their toes lightly grazed. Each contact made shivers run through Yamaguchi, his body feeling hot suddenly as he settled into a comfortable position in his bed. Yamaguchi leaned against the headboard, legs bending at his knees so he could make a small leverage for his popcorn bowl. His shoulder was still lightly touching Tsukki's, but he made no indication that he minded at all.

 

_ I'm not asking for a lot, Just that you're honest with me _

 

As Tsukki began the film at the press of his remote, Yamaguchi began to nibble on his bowl of popcorn. The sound of Tsukki's TV and the flashes of action gleamed against his glasses. He became so invested as the CGI dinosaurs roared and came to life on the screen, a knowing smile growing ever wider on his face. Yamaguchi could not help but stare at this side of Tsukki. 

 

He was the only one who has ever seen him smile so softly, so pure and without malice. His teeth peeking out from behind his red lips, the way the fragment of what might be a dimple appeared on his left cheek. His eyes stayed brazenly connected with his TV, but his hands paused and kept still as he was entranced by the beauty of the effects. Yamaguchi could not care at all for the plot nor the rising action of this film, all he truly cared about was seeing the pure unadulterated joy that spread across Tsukki when they were alone together. 

 

The only thing he wished Tsukki would give him was some sort of sign, of whether or not Yamaguchi could give up or try to express the feelings he had for his best friend.

 

_ And my pride, is all I got _

 

Yamaguchi began to pay more attention to the movie rather than Tsukki's adorable face, perfectly in time to see a large dinosaur come out of somewhere off screen. A small yelp came from Yamaguchi as he grasped Tsukki's arm, squeezing it lightly.

 

"Be quiet Yamaguchi" 

 

"Sorry Tsukki"

 

_ I'm saying, Baby, please have mercy on me _

 

Yamaguchi couldn't restrain the large thumping of his art as he held onto Tsukki, who did not protest. They continued on with the rest of the movie this way, Yamaguchi infrequently jostling Tsukki's arm as he reached to eat more popcorn. Yamaguchi was going to milk as much time with this position as possible, besides, Tsukki did not seem to mind all that much in the first place.

 

Once the action truly began to pick up towards the end of the film. Tsukki's hand that was nestled in his blankets, found one of Yamaguchi's hands, intertwining their fingers. Yamaguchi's face felt steaming hot, his eyes froze on the TV rather than looking down at their hands. He was utterly stunned into submission, feeling the heat of Tsukki's fingertips against his. If there were any wheels churning in his mind, every single one stopped moving at once, held back and captive by the driving force that was  _ Tsukki _ . The action of the film kept rising, reaching its ultimate climax, and all Yamaguchi could do was try and contain his smile and blushing features.

 

He was completely enraptured over this entire moment, wanting to keep himself locked up in this moment of bliss, holding the hand of his best friend. He tried to memorize the weight of Tsukki's hand against his own, committing it to memory the best he possibly could. 

 

A soft knock resonated from the door. Tsukki's hand untangled itself from Yamaguchi's, making it feel cold. Weightless, abandoned.

 

"Yes?" Tsukki grunted, reaching for the remote and pausing the film, the gaping jaws of a dinosaur caught mid-roar.

 

"I have cookies" a soft voice responded, one of Tsukki's mother's hands slipped in the opening of the door. Her hand held a small platter of cookies balanced perfectly atop its surface. 

 

"Thanks," Tsukki mumbled, turning his attention back to his screen. 

 

Yamaguchi was restlessly opening and closing his fist. Moving his fingers, his mind blanking by the sudden release of his euphoria. He was restlessly wanting to reach his hand over and clutch onto Tsukki once again. To further embed the feel of his hand to his memory.

 

Tsukki's mother entered his room, handing Yamaguchi the plate of cookies. She smiled softly at him and proceeded to promptly leave.

 

As soon as the door closed, the action began again. The resounding roar of the dinosaur almost jolted Yamaguchi so much he nearly dropped all of the cookies onto the floor. Tsukki stifled a laugh, seeing his friend struggle so much after being handed cookies.

 

"So funny, Yamaguchi."

 

"Sorry, Tsukki."

 

_ Take it easy on my heart _

 

Yamaguchi began to absentmindedly nibble on the cookies that Tsukki's mother had brought them. Relishing in the deep and rich taste of the chocolate chips as they melted in his mouth. Yamaguchi was determined in eating away his sadness at this point until he felt a small hand stroke the side of his cheek. Tsukki had reached over to graze lightly against the skin there, the contact burning hot. 

 

"You got chocolate on your cheek. Eat properly." 

 

His voice was soft, barely audible over the carnage happening on the screen in front of them. Tsukki was intensely looking at Yamaguchi, the soft fluorescent blue of the screen shining off his creamy skin. His glasses were sliding down the bridge of his nose, the reflections glinting slightly off of the glass. Yamaguchi could never believe how lovestruck he was over his best friend. With his throat tightening, the feeling of his body turning blood red from an incoming blush, and the way his mind zeroed in on the beauty of his blonde best friend.

 

Tsukki kept wiping away silently at Yamaguchi's cheek, not really minding their close proximity. How Yamaguchi could literally feel the heat of every exhale from Tsukki as he rubbed his cheek. This was a moment. Yamaguchi should just try and suck down his fear and anxiety and lean towards Tsukki, catching his lips in a sudden kiss. A kiss that would redefine their relationship. A kiss that would change everything.

 

Yamaguchi stayed still, and Tsukki finished rubbing his cheek. 

 

_ Even though you don't mean to hurt me _

 

Yamaguchi wanted to punch himself in the face by the time the credits began to roll down the screen. Feeling the weight of Tsukki's bed shift as he released himself from the covers. His long legs stretching before landing on the ground and padding across his room, preparing himself to actually go to bed for the next day. Yamaguchi stayed in bed, closing his eyes as he tried to envelop himself in the warmth that remained from the bed before it seeped into the expanse of the room. Yamaguchi wanted to lie down and curl into a deep sleep, he did not want to take that test tomorrow.

 

"Get up Tadashi, you need to go back home remember?" 

 

Tsukki only ever used his given name sparingly, never in any intention of intimacy, which they've established so long ago. He only ever used it to chastise or to mock him. Honestly, Yamaguchi found that even more endearing than the small smiles he'd make whenever he was eating a piece of cake. 

 

"I don't want to, it's comfy here." 

 

Yamaguchi snuggled into the blankets, closing his eyes briefly. The warmth was fading faster now that he was the only one left in the bed, however, Yamaguchi was completely content with sleeping right there in the warm spot he'd made in Tsukki's bed. Not moving a single muscle underneath the covers, he closed his eyes completely to drift into a dazed sleep state, not quite awake and not quite asleep. He could vaguely hear Tsukki's muttering and footsteps as he walked around his room, most likely getting things ready for tomorrow morning. It was a peaceful silence for the most part, with the sound of Yamaguchi's subtle breathing and the light footsteps of his best friend, it was quiet. To no surprise, as soon as Tsukki had finished his preparations for tomorrow morning, he began to mutter to himself beside his bed frame. 

 

Suddenly Yamaguchi could feel soft fingertips grazing across his forehead, moving aside the hair that was there. The fluttering feeling of fingertips running along the grooves of his cheekbones, it sent an array of chills and heat from his face into the entirety of his body. Suddenly lying so deeply in the covers was not doing a great job of keeping Yamaguchi warm, it was slowly becoming hotter. Small brief puffs of air washed across the bridge of Yamaguchi's nose as Tsukki's fingers ran across his skin. 

 

_ You keep tearing me apart, would you please have mercy on me?, I'm a puppet on your strings _

 

Opening his eyes, Yamaguchi could finally meet Tsukki's gaze. His eyelids were drooped so far down across his eyes, Yamaguchi could barely make out the beautiful brown eyes behind his glasses. His lips were teased into a small smile, a smile that naturally made its way on its face, not forced in any way. Yamaguchi could sense something emanating from Tsukki, although he couldn't exactly pinpoint what sort of aura it is. Tsukki kept his gaze locked on Yamaguchi's not batting a single eyelash as he continued the ministrations of his fingers over Yamaguchi's skin. It was if they were dancers setting the scene in a ballet, dancing and jumping across the stage in such an odd and beautiful motion that you were simple enraptured.

 

Yamaguchi was essentially frozen in place by Tsukki's gaze. As if he was a mythical beast with those extraordinary capabilities. His gaze alone seemed to melt into Yamaguchi, allowing his soul and body to meld together in one and incoherently responding to the alluring gaze of his best friend. He would do anything to keep that small smile of his stay on his face for eternity, it suited his friend so much it pulled on all of his heartstrings as he pondered how the world could give birth to such a perfect human being.

 

"You're still awake, which means you can get out of my bed yourself." 

 

His smile soon turned into a smirk, as his hands quickly lifted the sheets off of Yamaguchi quickly, leaving his body bare to the cold of the room. Yamaguchi shrieked as he curled in on himself without the blankets.

 

"I don't want to leave yet" he groaned.

 

"You are going to have to do it at some point. Where else would I sleep?"

 

"We could always share the bed" Yamaguchi turned his curled body to face Tsukki.

 

"We both know we wouldn't fit comfortably on my bed." A small chuckle left him.

 

"Mine is plenty big enough" 

 

Tsukki paused mid-laugh as Yamaguchi pressed the topic further. Yamaguchi's heart was pounding in his ears at the very mention of sharing the same bed together out of context of their movie nights. He decided to pull over the hood of his onesie to cover the heat spreading across his freckled cheeks.

 

"N-Never mind Tsukki. I'll just go home and sleep then." 

 

_ I'm a puppet on your strings, and even though you got good intentions, I need you to set me free _

 

"I-I'll see you tomorrow," Yamaguchi untangled himself and stood from Tsukki's bed. "Don't stay up too late Tsukki!"

 

Tsukki's eyes were glued to Yamaguchi's figure as he waltzed around him, walking around so he could finally escape from the closed space they were sharing in his bedroom. Yamaguchi's heart was constricting his lungs, the ever-growing nauseating feeling that he was letting too much of his feelings show for his best friend. He couldn't ever tell him how much he cared for him because he knew deep down within his heart that Tsukki would never feel the same as Yamaguchi felt. He would never be able to love him the way he so deeply wishes to be loved.

 

Yamaguchi hastily ran down the steps of the Tsukishima household, two at a time, nearly slipping as he reached the landing at the bottom. He was rushing through his goodbyes and putting his shoes on as quickly as he could. The need to escape the house was pushing him with surmountable force, he needed to bring all of his thoughts together again before facing Tsukki tomorrow before school.

 

He had to control the urge to confess his heart out to his best friend since childhood.

 

_ Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart _

_ Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart _

 

Yamaguchi ran out of the Tsukishima's house. Running down the street as his heart pounded and blood rushed through his entire body. He wondered whether Tsukki would have realized his feelings by that one statement alone. He wasn't an idiot, he would definitely almost know for certain that Yamaguchi liked him romantically. A stabbing feeling embedded into Yamaguchi's body, pins and needles beginning from his chest spreading across the expanse of his body. He kept running, running until he couldn't feel the air entering his lungs anymore, throat dry and screaming for some sort of cold wet relief. 

 

He paused shortly underneath a lamp, letting the LED light shower him in a soft wash of pearly white. He unzipped the top of the onesie, pulling his arms away from the sleeves and tying them around his waist. His white undershirt soaked lightly with his sweat from running so far. He leaned against the cold metal of the light, letting the soft and quiet tones of Miyagi prefecture lull him. The quiet sounds of nature in the small suburban streets and the passing noises of cars as they came and went. 

 

"Why did you run off like that?

 

_ Consuming all the air inside my lungs _

 

Yamaguchi's eyes opened to land on Tsukki's, his face was beaded with sweat. He didn't look winded in the slightest.

 

"You know you could have properly said goodnight before leaving right? It's the polite thing to do at least." Tsukki walked towards Yamaguchi. 

 

"I-I didn't want to worry my parents! You know how they can get Tsukki." 

 

"Don't lie to me, Tadashi." his first name made him swallow harshly in remorse.

 

"What's up with you?" Tsukki pestered the subject.

 

Yamaguchi was shying away from Tsukki's looming frame. He was too conscious of how Tsukki's skin glowed underneath the pearl white of the lamppost. It made Yamaguchi question everything about this situation. Especially by the fact that Tsukki had run after him in the first place, like who does that this late on a school night? Crazy idiots that's for sure, and Tsukishima Kei was no crazed idiot.

 

"Nothing, nothing is up with me" 

 

"Didn't I say to stop lying?" Tsukki's tone turned deep, slightly husky. He was mad.

 

"I'm not lying." 

 

_ Ripping all the skin from off my bones _

 

"I've known you my entire life, I can see right through you I hope you know that." 

 

"Tsukki, just drop it. It's fine" Yamaguchi turned his face away, avoiding Tsukki's gaze.

 

He couldn't bear to look at his deep brown eyes and contain the feelings swirling inside him. Yamaguchi wanted to scream at the top of his lungs to him how he's known he's loved his best friend for his entire life. How he could pinpoint him by his cute short blonde hair, how he could hear him from a hallway's distance away chatting with a classmate. Yamaguchi wanted to simply state to Tsukki how all of his eccentricities were what made his day whenever he discovered a new one. How Yamaguchi would sometimes write down the newest addition to Tsukki's taste for later reference in any sort of situation. 

 

Yamaguchi wanted to confess about how enraptured he was with his best friend.

 

He couldn't. He'd never accept him. 

 

_ I'm prepared to sacrifice my life _

 

"Tsukki... I"

 

"What, Tadashi?" Tsukki leaned forward, his face was merely a step away from Yamaguchi's. 

 

_ I'd gladly do it twice _

 

"I... I.." 

 

His cheeks felt searing hot, his eyes evading every inch of Tsukki as much as possible. He cannot let himself falter in the slightest. Having his best friend place him in such a corner, almost a very literal corner if it weren't for the circular lamppost behind his back, was intense. Yamaguchi wanted to wiggle his way out of the situation, but he couldn't mostly because he simply wanted to let all of these thoughts stop hurting him. He wanted the thoughts of his longing to be a dull ache rather than one that punctured him at every turn of Tsukki's head.

 

"I... I…l-" 

 

_ Consuming all the air inside my lungs _

 

Tsukki's lips silenced him. He had suddenly bridged that small gap between them in the matter of a half step. His hand has brushed up Yamaguchi's arm, sending electrical currents through the very skin as it rose to settle against his cheek. There was something different about feeling Tsukki now, in the way his lips moved against him in a fervent manner but were hesitant. Yamaguchi had barely registered the movements of Tsukki's lips against his before he had pulled away, his brown eyes looking into his.

 

"You know, I've wanted to do that for a long time now?" Tsukki whispered, his breath smelled faintly of sugar and chocolate.

 

Yamaguchi's heart was pounding in his chest, his very skin was on fire at the feeling and acknowledgment that Tsukki had  _ truly _ just kissed him. He felt like there should be smoke escaping from his ears to enhance the visual for Tsukki to help him understand how much short-circuiting was happening in his brain. He touched a finger lightly to his lips, his eyes widening as he finally looked back and into his best friend's eyes.

 

They were looking at him sincerely, with adoration, with love. There was no doubt about it now. Yamaguchi's face flushed

 

"Y-You have? You've wanted to do that- for a long time..?" 

 

"Of course," Tsukki's hand moves to caress his cheek, his hand running lightly against his bangs. 

 

"T-Tsukki.." Yamaguchi's eyes fluttered quickly to look at Tsukki's lips, remembering the soft feeling they gave him.

 

"Yes?" 

 

"I- I…love you." 

 

A smile beamed at him, Tsukki's cheeks lightly dusting pink underneath the light. It was one of the most glorious expressions he had ever seen on his face ever. It was a million times more brilliant than the very moon shining above the two of them. Brighter than any neuron star bursting into light at its final moments. Yamaguchi would not trade anything else for this moment.

 

"Now, what was that?" 

 

"What do you mean?" 

 

"What was with you kissing me all of a sudden. That's rude, you have to ask first." Yamaguchi softly clutched one of his hands in the material of Tsukki's onesie. His face leaning upwards to better look into Tsukki's soft blush. A soft sigh passed through Tsukki's parted lips.

 

"You were taking too long." 

 

"Meanie Tsukki," Yamaguchi lifted his head and pressed their lips together once more.

 

_ Ripping all the skin from off my bones _

 

Immediately, their hands grasped onto the other. Trying to latch onto and bring them even closer as their new kiss began deep, passionate,  _ feverish _ . Yamaguchi's hands traversed the landscape that was Tsukki's broad chest and shoulders, clawing at his shoulder as he let himself melt into their kiss. Tsukki's fingertips ran along the rim of his shorts, settling against his hips and pulling them towards his body. A small sigh of pleasure came from Yamaguchi at the sudden tension between them, and the lack of distance between them. 

 

Tsukki pushed him closer against the pole, a cold and hard reminder that they were outdoors, fervently kissing each other's faces off. Yamaguchi did not care in the slightest. He only cared about how much his body was reacting to Tsukki. The way his skin felt charged with electricity, burning and keeping his body hot to the touch. The way his heartbeat quickened to a racing beat whenever Tsukki so much moved against him a certain way. He was going mad with  _ Tsukki _ .

 

_ I'm prepared to sacrifice my life _

 

They pulled away again, their faces red and lips bruised from their rough kissing. They stared at each other for a minute moment, letting everything sink into the cold Miyagi night. It was rather soft, the blazing white light from the lamppost only seemed to highlight and allow the two boys to appear iridescent. 

 

_ I would gladly do it twice _

 

"I-I should really head home, Tsukki..." Yamaguchi stuttered, his fingertips were running across his lips. 

 

He had to make sure he could embed and memorize the feeling of Tsukki's lips again. In case this was all truly just a dream, he had to etch it so deep within himself it could become a reality for whenever he needed it. This beautiful moment underneath the starry night sky, where he could see the very tips of Tsukki's lashes glittering underneath the light. Memorizing the way his cheeks retained a soft blush of pink, the way his pupils were pushing against the rich brown of his irises. He had to keep his heart safe at all costs, his best friend was capable of so much more than simply kissing him senseless for a few moments. He had the very power to blow apart all of Yamaguchi's emotions instantaneously. 

 

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning?" his voice was soft, quiet.

 

Yamaguchi nodded nonsensically, his fingers fiddling with themselves in front of his body as he stood there. Tsukki hadn't moved from the close proximity they were in, his arm was leaning against the wall of someone's house. The realization soon settled in he was being what most of the girls in his class would describe as a 'kabedon'. Yamaguchi's cheeks became that much hotter. 

 

Tsukki's hand moved away from the wall, letting him stand with his body straight in front of Yamaguchi. He didn't let his gaze shy away from studying Yamaguchi's face. His eyes skirting across it, when he brought the hand that was formerly against the wall to his cheek. Caressing lightly and ruffling his hair a little, Tsukki's face broke into a smile once more as he whispered a soft goodbye. His hand dropping and his body turning, Tsukki began to walk back home, leaving Yamaguchi to watch him underneath the lamplight. His heartbeat had finally begun to settle itself into a normal rhythm as Tsukki walked back home. Yamaguchi was still stunned into place, his eyes set on following his best friend walk away, trying to decipher whether everything was actually happening still. 

 

Tsukki turned suddenly close to the bend that turned onto the street where he lived. He brought his fingertips to his lips and  _ blew  _ Yamaguchi a kiss. He then walked forward and was out of sight.

 

_ Oh, please have mercy on me _

 

The following morning, Yamaguchi was clasping the strap of his book bag tirelessly. Once he had gotten home the night before, he couldn't fall asleep for the longest time. He was staring straight into the sky, remembering the sensations and replaying the entirety of the scene in his head. There were plenty of times as he was remembering it that he wanted to scream, so he would bring his pillow to his chest and roll from side to side in embarrassment. He had managed to stay up surprisingly late repeating this same cycle until fatigue finally hit him.

 

Now the only thing he had wished he had used the time for was to study for this calculus exam he was woefully unprepared for. He would endlessly blame Tsukki for occupying all of his thoughts the night before. He mumbled along with the wait for Tsukki to come by his house to pick him up on the way to school. 

 

The buzzer for the house rang, and Yamaguchi jumped. He nervously gave a hasty farewell to his family within the house before opening the front door. As he stepped through the threshold, he closed the door behind himself, and he looked over to Tsukki at the front of the gate.

 

Tsukki gave him a soft smile and a little flick of his wrist in greeting.

 

"Morning Tadashi."

 

He was going to kill him.

 

_ Take it easy on my heart _

 

Yamaguchi's face heated up immediately. He was already on edge from yesterday, he had been overstimulated and overfilled with intimacy from his best friend. He wasn't even sure if the encounter from before had actually changed anything for their relationship. Being friends for at least 3/4 of your lives so far could make you hesitate on stating your relationship had changed into something romantic like that. 

 

Yamaguchi placed his hand at the top of the gate door for his house. Tsukki stood on the other side, his smile still softly gracing his features. It was a rare sight that only Yamaguchi would get to see, he only smiled like that when he knew no one else was around to see them. 

 

"Morning, Tsukki," he replied.

 

Tsukki leaned in before Yamaguchi could unhinge the lock, placing a chaste kiss to his cheek and stepping aside. 

 

_ Even though you don't mean to hurt me _

 

His ears began to burn so much it hurt, it physically hurt Yamaguchi to keep a scream of excitement and embarrassment out from between his lips. He accidentally hit his hand against the metal of the gate as he stumbled through it finally. Crossing the step and locking the gate back up before running a hand across his face. The metallic tang of the metal gate hitting his nose. As much as Yamaguchi wanted to stay mad at Tsukki for all of this damage he's doing to his heart.

 

He had to admit. This side of Tsukki was endearingly adorable and he never wanted it to stop ever for the rest of his life. 

 

Tsukki laughed, one without any malice, and he began to guide their pace to school. 

 

"You managed to finish your calculus homework right, Tadashi?" He was being mean now.

 

He was having fun with how Yamaguchi was acting, wasn't he?

 

"I did. Did you think you could help me out with understanding a problem or two once we get to school?" Yamaguchi skipped a few steps to match Tsukki's pace, their hands brushed lightly once they settled into their pace. 

 

"Of course," Tsukki replied, he grasped Yamaguchi's hand in his as they walked.

 

_ You keep tearing me apart _

 

Yamaguchi gave his best friend a look with the corner of his eye, although his heartbeat was going as fast as a train could at top speeds. He wasn't going to stop this fun of seeing an affectionate Tsukki in the sake of his own embarrassment. It was the hardest thing to pull off a look of annoyance when he wanted to smile so brightly.

 

"Do you think you'll be fine for the test?" Tsukki inquired, his other hand moved the frames of his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. 

 

Yamaguchi hummed in response.

 

"So the only thing that's wrong is that you stayed up late? Maybe because you were too riled up?" 

 

Tsukki laughed maniacally.

 

Yamaguchi wanted to punch him in the gut. It was so much more fun to do these sorts of exchange with his friends from the volleyball team. He never much enjoyed them with his best friend. Reason being, Tsukki was always a step ahead and he knew how to play his cards right.

 

"You could say that." Yamaguchi swung their interwoven arms.

 

"Did…it upset you?" 

 

Tsukki had stopped. Yamaguchi was ahead, pulling on his arm a little bit as he stopped mid-step. Yamaguchi was watching his best friend, the happiness that was there had slowly ebbed away. Tsukki's eyes were strained slightly as he looked at Yamaguchi.

 

_ Would you please have mercy on me? _

 

"Y-You didn't hate it did you?" Tsukki mumbled. 

 

Yamaguchi was stunned, he had never seen him this vulnerable before. Although he thought that his thinking was plain stupid given the circumstances that have occurred this morning already. Yamaguchi tugged hesitantly at their intertwined hands. 

 

"Kei…Do you think I hated it?" 

 

He looked up at Yamaguchi, looked into his eyes as he continued.

 

"Why would I let you hold my hand, kiss me on the cheek and make me fumble all around just so I could see you smile? Why would I not say anything about what had happened? Does it seem to you like I don't like you that way? It'd be a lie if I said I wasn't trying to keep them a secret because I was scared. I was scared to lose you Kei."

 

Tsukki pulled Yamaguchi's hand, bringing him closer. Yamaguchi obliged and walked into Tsukki's arms as they hugged.

 

_ I'm a puppet on your string _

 

"Tadashi, I really really like you." his voice was muffled by Yamaguchi's hair, and a soft laugh came from his lips.

 

"I really, really like you too. Kei." 

 

A sigh of relief and Tsukki clutched Yamaguchi closer into his chest, reveling in the feeling of him. Yamaguchi couldn't complain, the fact that all of the pain he had managed to uphold within him in fear of losing Tsukki. It was draining away, leaving him feeling full and soft, almost like a cloud drifting through the sky on a warm summer day.

 

"Can we get to school now? You really do need to help me out with some of the calculus stuff, I don't want to fail because of you Tsukki." 

 

Tsukki laughed, a hearty laugh from his chest. Yamaguchi would never get tired to hear that sort of laugh come from his best friend. It suited him the most, it was the most truthful to what he was actually like once you got to know him. His snarky attitude was the outer shell of the soft and caring individual that was Yamaguchi's best friend.

 

Should he give him a different name?

 

"Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend, Tsukki?" 

 

_ And even though you got good intentions _

 

"Only if you want me to call you that too, Tadashi," he replied, he interlaced their fingers once more.

 

"Then that's what I'll do." Yamaguchi smiled at him. 

 

Tsukki scoffed, kissing his head lightly as they walked towards the school. 

 

_ I need you to set me free _

 

They walked on. Letting silence fill the space in between them. They was no need for any sort of conversation, all that needed to be said was already said. Feelings were expressed, labels were placed on this particular folder for their relationship. Yamaguchi was reeling in glee, the past 18 hours could be surmised as the best 18 hours of his entire life as a whole. Although he might never admit it aloud to his better half. 

 

They skipped morning practice that day, mostly to prepare for their calculus test that morning. Tsukki had promised to help Yamaguchi with the content he struggled with, and Yamaguchi appreciated the effort he put it. The newly added bonus to receiving help from Tsukki now was that if he was doing things correctly, he receives affection as a reward. 

 

Nothing could be better than having his best friend be the only person he could ever want. 

 

_ I'm begging you for mercy, mercy _

 

When it finally came time to tell everyone on the volleyball team. Yamaguchi was nervously shaking his hands, while Tsukki grasped them both in his hands, and declared proudly to the entirety of the gym that they were dating. 

 

Yamaguchi wanted to shrivel up in embarrassment, he could feel how Tsukki was scared to, in the way he held his hands. When everyone began to rush in on them and mess with them both, was when Yamaguchi could see a light at the end of the tunnel. His heart was going to stop with how much anxiety was flowing through him recently. It was incredible how he even managed to survive lately. 

With Tsukki always surprising him left and right, and with moments like these. Yamaguchi was always shaken into a situation where his very wits were tested by his other half. It was insane at this point.

 

Tsukki always pushed him out of comfort zone, and he was truly an inspiration for him. He has always been an inspiration for Yamaguchi ever since they were younger.

 

_ I'm begging you, begging you, please baby _

_ I'm begging you for mercy, mercy _

 

When they decided to tell their parents they were dating. Yamaguchi was sure he was going to actually stop breathing entirely. Yamaguchi had hinted to his parents that he had started dating someone, only towards the end of his first year of high school, letting his new relationship develop without issues. He honestly was conflicted before this day when he had an amazing date with Tsukki and he couldn't run over to his mother and express all of the love he was feeling about him. Finally, today would be the day they would come clean.

 

The Tsukishima's had invited Yamaguchi and his parents for dinner tonight, they would every so often. It was a natural opening for the two teenagers to bring news forward to both of their families simultaneously. The plan was simple and easy.

 

Dinner was always easy, both families were so comfortable together you would never have guessed that either family wasn't actually related by blood. Yamaguchi watched on as his parents had fun sharing interesting stories from their youth and from their workplaces, his hands were sweating vigorously in his lap. His leg was also moving incessantly, one of his nervous ticks that only showed when he was _ really  _ nervous. Tsukki sitting beside him set one of his hands on his thigh, pushing it down.

 

Tsukki looked over at him, his golden hazel eyes analyzed Yamaguchi's. He wanted to make sure he was alright, that he was prepared for this encounter with all of their loved ones. Yamaguchi had to admit he wasn't at all prepared for the possible backlash from his parents, or from Tsukki's; however, with Tsukki at his side, he knew he could tackle any issue that ever came his way. Yamaguchi clutched onto Tsukki's hand that was on his thigh, squeezing it lightly. 

 

"Everyone, Tadashi and I have something to say," Tsukki said.

 

All eyes turned to them, Yamaguchi clutched tighter onto his hand as he looked at them all. He had to be brave. 

 

"Tadashi and I... wanted to finally tell you guys, we're dating," Tsukki said, a small smile breaking as he looked over at Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi couldn't help and smile back. 

 

_ Ooh, I'm begging you, I'm begging you _

 

"Finally! We were beginning to think you two would never man up!" Akiteru broke the silence, Yamaguchi almost spat out the water he was beginning to drink. 

 

"W-Wait.. what?" Yamaguchi fumbled with his thoughts.

 

"Honey, we knew if anyone, you would choose Kei. You two have such a strong bond is all." Yamaguchi's mother said softly, reaching across the table slightly to squeeze her son's shoulder. 

 

"You two kids have been so slow. I was hoping you kids would figure things out in middle school. To think it would take this long." Tsukki's mother took another sip of her wine glass. 

 

Yamaguchi could feel his face get even more scarlet by the second. 

 

"At least I can finally say that my son has found someone to love and to fix his nasty personality." Tsukki's mother said once more.

 

"Mother!" Tsukki's cheeks turned red too at the comments his mother posed to the table. 

 

The only thing that came from Yamaguchi was laughter. He never could have imagined the quirky welcome into this new chapter of his life with all that he cared about. They all accepted him so much more than he had thought. His heart swelled, nothing could ever beat the sense of familiarity and home that came over him as Tsukki's mother and Akiteru gossiped about the two teens.

 

Tsukki looked over at Yamaguchi then, taking in the soft expressions and sheer joy painting a masterpiece across the beauty that is Yamaguchi Tadashi. This was only the beginning of a long road for the two of them, letting their love grow, nurturing it. The only step now in Tsukishima Kei's plan was simple: 

 

To never let Tadashi go. 

**Author's Note:**

> This took forever to complete, and thus I, of course, did not edit it all that much! I hope you enjoyed even if I have broken English half of the time. Another songfic in the books, now on to the next one, which should be an interesting one to write if I begin it soon...


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